Steve, CT, 'gay.' Deadbeat by day, Rape Crisis Counselor & volunteer by night. Social Justice, gender, art, music, sexuality, literature, feminism, body modification & whatever else enlightens, inspires, & enrages me. I spend most of my time writing & drinking tea with my cat.


Bikini Kill Santa Rosa Backyard Show 1993

Read account of the show here

” Bikini Kill began to set up and I heard the band members talking about how they wouldn’t be able to see the instruments in the dark.
“Why don’t we pull the cars forward and shine the lights on the band,” suggested a guy with a blue mohawk and a Rancid patch.
Soon, a flood of car headlights illuminated the area where the band would play. Kathleen Hanna, who went on to form feminist electro-pop group Le Tigre, drummer Tobi Vail, guitarist Billy Karren and bassist Kathi Wilcox tuned up quickly, and then blasted into a set of songs that began my re-envisioning what it was to be a woman in modern American society. I was in the midst of a group of traveling feminist warriors, who had been sent to transform me into a warrior myself, singing lyrics that hit me at my heart’s core. These lyrics castigated rape, body image issues, gender stereotypes alongside full-blown, unfettered rants against patriarchal oppression. I drank it in—the shining car lights, the dancing crowd, the Santa Rosa night sky. Hanna called out, “Revolution Girl Style!” and we screamed back “Now!” Young punks, male and female, desperately wanting a new way of existing beyond what we had known before. We wanted it so bad. It was like a shot of truth to break up the muddled confusion of teenagedom, the desires to be everything in a world that might offer nothing, the map I needed to create my own way.”

(via thegits)

The truth, and it stings like shit. I had this discussion with a friend a while ago who told me I should write a book on the subject. People say gay men are more promiscuous than others because we’re perverts. However, I say that for most gay men, until we reach our mid 20’s, all we know about being gay is sex. When we realize we’re gay, most of us can’t go talk to our families about it. We’re teenagers, our hormones are raging, but unlike our heterosexual counterparts who are experiencing the same, etc, we’re not able to date, discuss our crushes, or fall in love like they do. We’re too busy hiding our sexuality fearfully condemning ourselves to hell or trying to rid ourselves of what we’re told is impure all while following our hormones and allowing our lust to bloom while suppressing our normal emotional connection to sex. By virtue, we’re *********. We’re loving everyone else but ourselves.

We say things like, ‘I’ll never marry a man, or be in a relationship with one.’ We accept our underground lives of sex parties, meeting people online, on chat lines, in bathrooms, etc, because we become used to living in secrecy and view it as normal and the only way to survive. We DARE not meet someone on the street, and have a ‘normal’ encounter and risk being taunted and exposed. We’re wounded by inside and outside forces and opinions. Thus we conduct ourselves as less than. It’s not until we turn 25-30 that we (some of us rather) get tired, and it’s either continue to live a lie or live life truthfully. We start dating, trying to love, but we’re wounded, and have not been healed. We’ve not gone to therapy, to address our years of damage. We don’t know HOW to not only love but be in love with another man, because we have no examples. All we have are examples of men loving women, and thus we pattern ourselves after heterosexual relationships (which have their own hegemonic flaws) and we fail miserably. Then, we write off gay relationships as moot and by age 40 realize we’re alone and don’t understand why.

Most straight people wonder why we’re so fervent in our pursuit of LGBT equality, because you don’t see the humans behind the rainbows. You don’t see the damage done to our psyche from the time we’re children to the time we’re adults. You all think it’s as simple as ‘come out the closet and be happy.’ For some of us it is, but for many more of us, it’s not.

And all the above, is why at a month and a week from thirty, I’ve only been in one relationship and hopelessly long to love again, but have to first battle the forces that say love doesn’t exist in my world. Those forces are both outside and inside my mind.

Twan Tee, on what patriarchy, hegemonic masculinity, and shame do to the black queer psyche. (via sonofbaldwin)

(via seasonofsnow)

Queers Bash Back: y'all


Can we please all report this petition on in which a bunch of people who hate trans men and women are trying to interfere with AB-1266. has hate speech rules and this seems to violate them- in the email these people sent out about the topic, they literally…


(Source: penniform)

  • white het dudes: it's just a joke. you guys have no sense of humor
  • oppressed person: *tells a joke about privileged people*

UNITY: We’d like to send a message to the Men’s Rights community here on...


We’d like to send a message to the Men’s Rights community here on Tumblr and ask you to make a Queer Men’s Rights blog to be a brother blog to this Queer 4th Wave Feminist blog.

I’ve been looking around and I just don’t see queer representation in the Men’s Rights Movement. It’d be good to…

TEEHEHEHEHE.  Who’s going to step up?  PLEASE SOMEONE?  ANYONE?  If there’s an MRA out there concerned with ‘male’ queer, trans and gay issues it’s imperative that you show yourself.

(Source: thekyriarchywontfuckitself)

By saying a fetus has a right to someone’s body parts until it’s born, despite the pregnant person’s wishes, you are doing two things. 1. Granting a fetus more rights to other people’s bodies than any born person. 2. Awarding a pregnant person less rights to their body than a corpse.

—Paul Zepecki (via ohaityler)

(Source: beequal, via bspolitics-deactivated20140630)