The truth, and it stings like shit. I had this discussion with a friend a while ago who told me I should write a book on the subject. People say gay men are more promiscuous than others because we’re perverts. However, I say that for most gay men, until we reach our mid 20’s, all we know about being gay is sex. When we realize we’re gay, most of us can’t go talk to our families about it. We’re teenagers, our hormones are raging, but unlike our heterosexual counterparts who are experiencing the same, etc, we’re not able to date, discuss our crushes, or fall in love like they do. We’re too busy hiding our sexuality fearfully condemning ourselves to hell or trying to rid ourselves of what we’re told is impure all while following our hormones and allowing our lust to bloom while suppressing our normal emotional connection to sex. By virtue, we’re *********. We’re loving everyone else but ourselves.
We say things like, ‘I’ll never marry a man, or be in a relationship with one.’ We accept our underground lives of sex parties, meeting people online, on chat lines, in bathrooms, etc, because we become used to living in secrecy and view it as normal and the only way to survive. We DARE not meet someone on the street, and have a ‘normal’ encounter and risk being taunted and exposed. We’re wounded by inside and outside forces and opinions. Thus we conduct ourselves as less than. It’s not until we turn 25-30 that we (some of us rather) get tired, and it’s either continue to live a lie or live life truthfully. We start dating, trying to love, but we’re wounded, and have not been healed. We’ve not gone to therapy, to address our years of damage. We don’t know HOW to not only love but be in love with another man, because we have no examples. All we have are examples of men loving women, and thus we pattern ourselves after heterosexual relationships (which have their own hegemonic flaws) and we fail miserably. Then, we write off gay relationships as moot and by age 40 realize we’re alone and don’t understand why.
Most straight people wonder why we’re so fervent in our pursuit of LGBT equality, because you don’t see the humans behind the rainbows. You don’t see the damage done to our psyche from the time we’re children to the time we’re adults. You all think it’s as simple as ‘come out the closet and be happy.’ For some of us it is, but for many more of us, it’s not.
And all the above, is why at a month and a week from thirty, I’ve only been in one relationship and hopelessly long to love again, but have to first battle the forces that say love doesn’t exist in my world. Those forces are both outside and inside my mind.
Can we please all report this petition on Change.org in which a bunch of people who hate trans men and women are trying to interfere with AB-1266. Change.org has hate speech rules and this seems to violate them- in the email these people sent out about the topic, they literally…
WHY WON’T ANYONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!?&Q$(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
- white het dudes: it's just a joke. you guys have no sense of humor
- oppressed person: *tells a joke about privileged people*
- white het dudes: I AM SUDDENLY INCAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING IRONY OR SATIRE AND YOU ARE THE NEXT HITLER
We’d like to send a message to the Men’s Rights community here on Tumblr and ask you to make a Queer Men’s Rights blog to be a brother blog to this Queer 4th Wave Feminist blog.
I’ve been looking around and I just don’t see queer representation in the Men’s Rights Movement. It’d be good to…
TEEHEHEHEHE. Who’s going to step up? PLEASE SOMEONE? ANYONE? If there’s an MRA out there concerned with ‘male’ queer, trans and gay issues it’s imperative that you show yourself.